It's quite obvious that Pacman is yellow By Al Sharpton</h1> <article> <h1>It's quite obvious that Pacman is yellow By Al Sharpton</h1> <p>Al Sharpton — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 12:45:11 -0400</p> Well if you needed any proof of the Good Lord's graces, here it is. On Friday I asked Him to provide an outrage because it had been a slow summer, and not 3 days later He delivered. And what dramatics! Our old buddy Imus. Sometimes I think I'm one of God's favorite children. (Maybe not the smooth-talking funny son, but the oldest one who takes out the garbage without being asked and keeps the other rugrats in line.)On Monday when talking about football player Adam "Pacman" Jones run ins with the law, Imus asked "what color is he?" I think the answer was obvious:Yellow.And after he got the answer, Imus said, "There you go. Now you know." So Imus is anti-Asian. Given his previous anti-Black statements that shouldn't be a surprise. What is a little harder to figu... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/al-sharpton/2008/06/24/its-quite-obvious-pacman-yellow">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>I hope a white person does something racist because I have nothing to do this weekend By Al Sharpton</h1> <p>Al Sharpton — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 14:24:49 -0400</p> It's been quiet around here for a little while. I'm not bored ... just ... it's quieter than usual.Okay fine, here's the deal: I had plans for Saturday, and it was something that was gonna be like an all day thing. But they just called and canceled, like literally just got off the phone ... and now I got nothing. My weekend is suddenly empty. And all my friends are busy because I told them I was gonna be busy.I'm just saying ... it might be cool if something happened that really pissed me off. Then I'd have shit to do. Nothing big, I'm not picky. Maybe a sports announcer can say "negro" while referring to a brother athlete, or a white police officer can get let off for beating an African American gentleman who was escorting his momma to church. Yeah, that'd be good. See, I'm alre... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/al-sharpton/2008/06/19/i-hope-white-person-does-something-racist-because-i-have-nothing-do-weekend">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>Sharpton to Eastwood: Your mom shuts her face (but not her legs). By Al Sharpton</h1> <p>Al Sharpton — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 15:21:38 -0400</p> Let's get up to speed real quick. Spike Lee recently criticized Clint Eastwood for not including any black soldiers in his two films Letters from Iwo Jima and Flags of Our Fathers. Eastwood then told Spike to 'shut his face', which in turn led Spike to say, "we're not on the plantation." This will probably cause Eastwood to re-retort with something even more bad ass like: "I don't give second warnings" or "Today is a good day to die". Most likely, the spat will then dissolve into "your mom doesn't shuts her mouth", etc.I've reflected on this issue, and you may be surprised to learn that I side with Spike on this one.For one, he practices what he preaches. In Do The Right Thing, a white John Turturro detests the neighborhood 'like a sickness' because ... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/al-sharpton/2008/06/10/clint-eastwood-shut-your-ass">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>What famous dead black leaders would probably say about the white Morehouse valedictorian By Al Sharpton</h1> <p>Al Sharpton — Fri, 16 May 2008 15:25:01 -0400</p> Whitie has a long tradition of usurping things that belong to us: Rock'n'Roll, the Jew-fro, Halle Berry's fine self. But what I just found out is a whole new level of hijacking.The next valedictorian of my alma mater Morehouse's graduating class is going to be some white dude! (By alma mater, I of course mean metaphorically -- I dropped out of Brooklyn college to tour with James Brown and never graduated college.)And guess who's memory this kid evoked when justifying why he accepted the honor:"What Morehouse stands for at the end of the day, and what Dr. King epitomized, it's not about black or white, it's about the content of [a person's] character. It's about me, representing Morehouse in that light -- not as a white man or a black man."Ick! Gag me. It's always MLK they quote. ... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/al-sharpton/2008/05/16/what-famous-dead-black-leaders-would-probably-say-about-white-morehouse-valed">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>The long-windiest analogy of all-time By Al Sharpton</h1> <p>Al Sharpton — Fri, 09 May 2008 14:40:54 -0400</p> I made another long-winded analogy today. This one was about Hillary not leaving the race."The worst thing in the world is when an entertainer doesn’t know when the show is over. The audience is gone, the lights are down, you’re getting ready to cut the mics off and you are still on the stage singing. It’s over, it’s all right, it’s over. Come sing another day, but this show is over for Sen. Clinton.”The paper didn't print the rest of the quote..."You finally step off stage and wander through the dark halls back to your dressing room. As you enter, your image in the mirror catches you off guard and you jump inside your skin. Then you realize that you wouldn't have minded if a strange man was waiting for you in the dressing room. The mysterious... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/al-sharpton/2008/05/09/hillary-exit-stage-right">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>First ever blogging strike goes unnoticed By Al Sharpton</h1> <p>Al Sharpton — Thu, 08 May 2008 14:54:33 -0400</p> It's been exactly 13 days since the Sean Bell acquittal or as I refer to it, "Black black guy day". You probably noticed that I haven't posted on this blog in the past two weeks. Most likely you assumed it was because I was too sad-- that the tears streaming from my face would find the cracks in my keyboard and fritz up my hard drive. Or maybe you thought I was too angry and that I would try typing by pounding my fists on the keyboard. For instance,"This is an outrage!" would be translated to the very illegible: "lkshde!sjkfbn%@kjgK&S!"Well actually the reason I didn't blog was because I was attempting the world's first blogging strike. As it turns out, no one really cares when you go on a blogging strike. Go figure. So we had to think of other protests. H... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/al-sharpton/2008/05/08/first-ever-blogging-strike-goes-unnoticed">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>Consider this my official statement on the Sean Bell acquittal By Al Sharpton</h1> <p>Al Sharpton — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:19:47 -0400</p> Ok. I get it legal system. This is a make-up call for OJ. Like in sports when the ref blows a call, and he makes up for it on the next play by favoring the team the unfair call went against. On the cosmic scale of racial injustice, we're just about back to reconstruction era mentality -- when blacks were technically free, but couldn't own property.The head of the police officers’ union, Patrick Lynch made an interesting statement this morning:"Every time a police officer goes on the street there is never a script. We have to deal with circumstances as they come."Fair point, suspiciously-named Mr. Lynch. We need to write a script for how to deal with people loitering outside a night club. Allow me to mock up a draft:If you see a loiterer outside a night club, most likely he... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/al-sharpton/2008/04/25/consider-my-official-statement-sean-bell-aquital">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>Happy Imus-versary! By Al Sharpton</h1> <p>Al Sharpton — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 15:36:58 -0400</p> Last night the lovely Lady Vols of Tennessee defeated the upstart Stanford Cardinal squad to capture the women's NCAA national championship. Despite many awkward one-handed shots and play that appeared to be happening at 1/10th the speed of a normal hoops game, it was a magnanimous achievement.The major accomplishment wasn't that the Lady Volunteers repeated their championship from a year ago, rather that no shock jock pointed out that the consistency of the losing team's hair was of a coarser, frizzier variety than the victors.In case you didn't know, it's the one year Imus-versary today. Most of you are probably wondering how I celebrate/mourn the day after the women's collegiate national title game.First I wake up and have a large breakfast. On an empty stomach, indignation can quickly ... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/al-sharpton/2008/04/09/happy-imusary-everyone">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>I am not a bedfellow of Pat Robertson By Al Sharpton</h1> <p>Al Sharpton — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:23:56 -0400</p> The other Al on this website convinced me to do a commercial campaign with Pat Robertson about the dangers of global warming. He's spending 300 million on it, most of which is going to me I think.Everyone is saying that Pat and I are strange bedfellows, which is absurd. I can't speak for Pat, but I prefer the company of bedladies. I like my women like I like my justice: completely legal, swayed by my influence, and with a nice moral rectitude (by this I mean her rump and anus).You might be surprised to know we did the shoot without a script. We had plot points to touch on, but for the most part we were just playing off each other. Here's the transcript:Pat: Hey black guy, I know that sun damage won't give you melanoma, but global warming will be bad for your people too. Al: Black people ca... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/al-sharpton/2008/04/01/sharpton">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>Pastor Manning, you put the crazy in crazy black pastor By Al Sharpton</h1> <p>Al Sharpton — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 07:13:01 -0400</p> Please take a few minutes and watch this anti-Obama video from Pastor James Manning. From one outspoken pastor with a funny voice to another (your voice sort of sounds like mine on helium), maybe turn down the vitriol a notch or twelve. You started out strong with humor: “Obama is a Macdaddy! You don’t get your campaign started with a big-chested white woman. She must be a 54-D. Double D. That’s the first place I saw his name. On a pair of great big ole tits. Obama is a long-legged Macdaddy!” Long-legged? You sure you aren't mistaking him with the roadrunner? But then the gloves come off: “I haven’t trashed Obama. His African in-heat father went whoring after a trashy white woman. He was born trash. I said he was born trash! Listen, I'm jealous of Ob... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/al-sharpton/2008/03/20/pastor-manning-you-put-crazy-crazy-black-pastor">Read more</a> </article> </main></body></html>