Entrepreneurs strike after negotiations breakdown with National Venture Capital Association By Jayson Blair</h1> <article> <h1>Entrepreneurs strike after negotiations breakdown with National Venture Capital Association By Jayson Blair</h1> <p>Jayson Blair — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 18:00:08 -0500</p> TechCrunch editor Michael Arrington holds candle light vigil (Photo credit: Jenn Allen) Silicon Valley entrepreneurs are trading in their PowerPoint decks for picket signs after negotiations broke down between the Entrepreneurs Guild of America West and the National Venture Capital Association. Venture capitalists acknowledge that the Internet’s growing quickly and is going to be big, but argue it’s too early to tell just how profitable it will be. “We don’t know yet if there’s real money to be made on the Internet.” said NVCA President Mark G. Heesen. “Venture capitalists need to get a least a 2x participating preferred liquidity preference and no income tax on carried interest to prevent innovation from being stifled.” Entrepreneurs Guild President Marc Andreessen has... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/jayson-blair/2007/12/19/entrepreneurs-strike-after-negotiations-breakdown-with-national-venture-capital-association">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>Enough updates, iTunes By Jayson Blair</h1> <p>Jayson Blair — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 19:00:44 -0500</p> A fatwa was issued today against Apple Inc. for their continual and incessant updating. The situation had gotten so bad, that Apple has recently switched to a more nuanced system of sub-updates (7.0.2 instead of 72) that is really just regular updates in sheep’s clothing. “Get it right the first time,” says the Profit Mohammad, founder of Islam and die hard Reggaeton fan. “Or don’t bother me.” Computer user and celebrity web expert Hugh Jackman believes that too many updates contributed to the fall of other tech giants and could spell doom for iTunes. “What ever happened to Clarisworks? To Kid Pix? Both were great programs that updated themselves out of existence. Hey remember Ask Jeeves?” Jackman continued in a whimsical digression that I can print because I have no ... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/jayson-blair/2007/12/13/enough-updates-itunes">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>Breaking News: Congress officially changes Wednesday to Hump Day By Jayson Blair</h1> <p>Jayson Blair — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 17:36:20 -0500</p> Shocking news out of Washington today, as the Senate drafted, voted on and passed a bill to officially change the name of Wednesday to Hump Day. The bill was then rushed to the Oval Office. President Bush dramatically lifted up his feather-tipped veto pen that he inks in the blood of fallen soldiers and prepared to write a big X over the document when an unsuspecting hero burst into the office to save the day — none other than Ryan Gosling. “Do not veto this important legislation, Mr. President,” the hip actor said. “The American people need a delightfully funny nickname to signal the midpoint of their weekly drudgery.” He reasoned, before adding. “Take it from me, I’m a hot guy.” With that no man could argue. Nancy Pelosi addressed the media on the steps of Congress... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/jayson-blair/2007/12/12/breaking-news-congress-officially-changes-wednesday-to-hump-day">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>The shield bill will resurrect my career By Jayson Blair</h1> <p>Jayson Blair — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 17:19:11 -0400</p> Associated Press Yes! Finally us journalists can report without fear of facing jail time for protecting our sources. Like for instance if there was a story about a wounded soldier who isn’t granted leave. Through some meticulous fact-finding, a certain sleuth discovers that in addition to a superficial wound in the soldier’s arm, he also has taken shrapnel in his eyes and has gone retarded in 65% of his brain. “He is a blind man in a blind war,” the journalist eloquently puts it. But then some propaganda officials in the government subpoena his notes. Well now this ink slinger can say: “No, you can’t see them! Maybe I don’t have notes, maybe my notes are more conceptual, a ubiquitous energy force that is both an endangered Blue Whale being poached by Exxon for oil and the... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/jayson-blair/2007/10/05/the-shield-bill-will-resurrect-my-career">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>I'm not not the real Jayson Blair By Jayson Blair</h1> <p>Jayson Blair — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 15:28:48 -0400</p> While creepily leering over a guy’s shoulder in an Internet cafe, I saw this blog post. Associated Press Look, obviously that’s not the real Al Sharpton blogging here at News Groper, but I need you to listen to me: I am the real Jayson Blair. Seriously, it’s me, I can prove it. I was born on March 23, 1976, went to University of Maryland. Jennifer from 7th grade remember when we used to call each other “boomer” and “cupcake” in love notes? Only the real Jayson Blair could possibly know that. So please quote everything I say, MSNBC, please! I need it on my resume! … Jesus Christ, I need a job … ... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/jayson-blair/2007/08/25/im-not-not-the-real-jayson-blair">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>Fact-check yourself before you fact-wreck yourself By Jayson Blair</h1> <p>Jayson Blair — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 15:17:51 -0400</p> As part of my reparation for that little boo-boo I committed a few years back, the Times has been forcing me to fact-check articles, making kind of like the journalism equivalent of Hannibal Lecter—a plagiarist used to catch other plagiarists. So anyway, I’m reading this article about ginseng’s magical powers and a few red flags caught my eye: Associated Press 1. The author’s name sounds too ethnic and likely made up as a way of advancing in the ranks of the Times thanks to affirmative action (trust me, I know how to do this). Norimitsu Omishi? Come on, the guy’s name is clearly Norman Owen, the whitest name possible. 2. Just how exactly did this Omishi person—if that is his real name—make it all the way to Jinan, South Korea and write and send an article in time for h... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/jayson-blair/2007/08/23/fact-check-yourself-before-you-fact-wreck-yourself">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>Guess who's back in journalism! By Jayson Blair</h1> <p>Jayson Blair — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 12:00:19 -0400</p> by ninnet via Flickr Look out, Jayson Blair is back to deliver groundbreaking news coverage around the clock … for this month’s McDonald’s newsletter! And the Times said I’d never work in the industry again! Suckas! Here’s my first hard-hitting article for McDonald’s Playland Monthly: This Just In: French Fries Awesome By Jayson Blair Mayor McCheese officially declared today that McDonald’s French fries are “awesome” and “just don’t let that Hamburglar snatch them from you!” before entering a fun-looking plastic slide that dropped him into a ball-pit. Celebrity monster Grimace also added, “Why not supersize those fries for just 39 cents extra?” Ronald McDonald could not be reached for comment. McDonald’s Editor’s Note: This Playland Monthly art... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/jayson-blair/2007/07/31/guess-whos-back-in-journalism">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>Baby Steps By Jayson Blair</h1> <p>Jayson Blair — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 20:22:32 -0400</p> In an ongoing effort to combat my lying problem, my therapist suggested that I start by writing just one truthful sentence. You know what they say: The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. Well, here goes: This morning I woke up at 7:30 a.m. and made breakfast consisting of two eggs, three strips of bacon, two pieces of wheat toast and a glass of magical orange juice that granted me three wishes. That wasn’t so hard! ... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/jayson-blair/2007/07/06/baby-steps">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>Lebanese man helps militants ... blah blah blah By Jayson Blair</h1> <p>Jayson Blair — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 21:36:20 -0400</p> Boy, what is wrong journalism these days? I was perusing some little-known New York tabloid I found on my apartment floor and found this snoozer of a feature. Yawn! Here’s how I, a journalism major from the University of Maryland, would spice this article up. OK, so you got some Lebanese guy helping the Islamic militants, which is fine, but what if you gave him some severe handicap, like maybe he’s missing both his legs or he has a learning disability. Or better yet, he’s missing both legs AND he has a learning disability. How heart-warming would that be? Also, instead of fighting for fundamentalist Islam, how about he fights for orphaned kittens in a local animal shelter? Trust me, Americans love kittens. Also, instead of being a poor Lebanese Muslim, why not make him a tall, h... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/jayson-blair/2007/07/03/lebanese-man-helps-militants-blah-blah-blah">Read more</a> </article> </main></body></html>