My new Mountain Dew drink By Marilyn Manson</h1> <article> <h1>My new Mountain Dew drink By Marilyn Manson</h1> <p>Marilyn Manson — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 10:26:35 -0400</p> Ever since Epicurious compared my absinthe ‘Mansinthe’ to ‘sewage water or swamp mud,’ sales have dropped. That’s fine with me, it still get’s the farm animals drunk, which is good times for me (I won’t digress).So, we’ve removed the alcohol, added some sweat from by balls, and have teamed up with Mountain Dew to create their newest flavor: Teabag 1000.For those who don’t know, Teabaggin’ is when somebody (me) lowers their sack into someone else’s (the critic at Epicurious) mouth. I can already imagine the review: “A complex scent: very nutty, with a faint redolence of choad.”So come get some Teabag 1000. We removed all the pubes.... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/marilyn-manson/2008/06/25/my-new-mountain-dew-drink">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>Song for The Bachelorette By Marilyn Manson</h1> <p>Marilyn Manson — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:30:32 -0400</p> In a recent episode of The Bachelorette, the male suitors were asked to compose a song for bachelorette Deanna. It’s hard not to be a snob when people are so untalented. Most of the verse went something like this:Deanna, I need youPlease don’t go awayIf you go awayI’ll be so sadI won’t be gladDeanna, I need youDeanna, I need you to take off your high heels and stab those morons in the eye for me, okay? Deanna, I need to you give me the final rose. Don’t worry, I’m not attracted to you, but it would be great marketing. Hey, I even wrote a song for you:Look at my pale dongAnd its pulse beating to this sing-alongI’m the guy without any pants onIf jizzing on the set is badI wanna be wrong... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/marilyn-manson/2008/06/25/song-bachelorette">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>How a goth icon deals with insomnia By Marilyn Manson</h1> <p>Marilyn Manson — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 10:57:30 -0400</p> Counting sheep to try to fall asleep is so boring and middle-class. Who cares about some fat guy in the suburbs going 88, 89, 90, bah, bah?When I can’t sleep, instead of counting, I wear sheep. I will admit, it doesn’t really help (and I can only get to 15 before it gets too heavy); in fact, I get even more excited. Just something about wearing dead flesh that I really like.I’ve been up for 38 hours with my two little friends here, eating a lamb shank and watching Silence of the Lambs. Not trying to be cruel or ironic here, just got hungry and I really dig that movie—especially when that girl’s in that hole…which reminds me…Ha, I’m just kidding kids! You guys really think I’m some sicko don’t you?(Sniff.)... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/marilyn-manson/2008/06/25/sleepless-ohio">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>How to drop a hint to your girlfriend that death black is her color By Marilyn Manson</h1> <p>Marilyn Manson — Thu, 29 May 2008 11:17:22 -0400</p> I generally hate conformity, except when it comes to whomever I happen to be banging at the time. Before I started dating Rachel Evan Wood, she was your typical looking girl. Her wholesomeness sickened me—all that natural hair color and clear complexion. I can be very passive-aggressive when I want to. “Oh, the black hair dye is on sale at Walgreens,” I said one day. She didn’t get the hint. “Oh, the black hair dye is on sale at Walgreens,” I said again later that week. Finally, I drugged her and dunked her head in a bucket of black dye.Some people say she’s slowly looking exactly like Dita Von Teese, which may be truth, though I molded Dita to look like Elvira—who I always thought was the female version of me. Now I know what you’re th... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/marilyn-manson/2008/05/23/conformity-can-be-okay-sometimes">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>Rules for my pool party By Marilyn Manson</h1> <p>Marilyn Manson — Fri, 23 May 2008 15:12:55 -0400</p> 1. If you’re going to do all my coke and hemorrhage your nasal cavity, please don’t collapse with your firm yet lush ass facing upwards. You are really turning me on, and I’m not even into men (on the weekends).2. If you’re going wear a small Speedo that barely covers your generously sized dong, please don’t land in such a way that you’re fucking my gopher hole. My gopher hole is for Theodore, my gopher. Theodore doesn’t like the entrance to his home fucked by an overdosed model.3. If you’re going to come to my pool party, bring all your eurotrash friends. Don’t just show up alone. It’s depressing when only one person shows up at your party. I even bought Chex mix.4. If you’re not going to notice my alligator shoes, pool par... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/marilyn-manson/2008/05/23/rules-my-pool-party">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>I am a math addict By Marilyn Manson</h1> <p>Marilyn Manson — Mon, 12 May 2008 13:08:12 -0400</p> As the voice of our misled youth, I figured I’d start incorporating elementary math lessons into my shows. The plan was to start off with addition, transition into multiplication—breeze through long division—and end with a brief introduction to algebra. My set design team even built huge math symbols out of birch (we used lighter fluid on it so its sheen could play off the stage lights better).I thought it might be fun to use musical examples. We did a cover of Radiohead’s 2 + 2 = 5 (true, not mathematically correct, but that’s the price of artistic discretion), and the Beatles’ Come Together, in which “1 + 1 + 1 = 3” (good job Sir Lennon) when I started smelling the redolent puffs of a forgotten campfire. I turn around and the ‘+&rsquo... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/marilyn-manson/2008/05/02/math-lesson-flames">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>I like getting head By Marilyn Manson</h1> <p>Marilyn Manson — Mon, 05 May 2008 11:54:28 -0400</p> You sick people! I’m not talking about fellatio—I’m talking about decapitating a mannequin and signing a song to its head in front of thousands to people in order to reestablish the fact that I hold no prejudices towards human effigies, and can converse with them as well as any living person. Besides, they don’t talk back.And yes, it is not merely incidental that she bears a striking resemblance to my girlfriend Evan Rachel Wood. Does it weird her out? Only when I hump its esophagus from the decapitated end—which makes it ‘reverse fellatio’ I guess.The plaster is somewhat coarse, but hey, I’m an easy going guy. ... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/marilyn-manson/2008/05/02/i-getting-head">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>I see a glow-in-the-dark bowling ball in my future By Marilyn Manson</h1> <p>Marilyn Manson — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:32:08 -0400</p> Among the vast fecund lot of my talents is seeing into the future. For example, when I was four years old, I saw a highly-marketed egomaniac androgynous freak screaming clichés into a microphone. Or, last month, I saw some sheets covered in stains…wait…that wasn’t the future; that was just my bed. I totally need to rehire my maid, either that or fix my catheter.Most recently, I looked into my ball o’ future and saw a glow-in-the-dark bowling ball. True, one may argue that I was merely looking at the thing itself and not into some metaphysical realm, but I assure you—I’m a professional.To help manifest this vision, tonight I’m going bowling with my crew. I have to admit I’m a horrible bowler. Finally though, my mind won’t be the... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/marilyn-manson/2008/04/18/i-see-glow-dark-bowling-ball-my-future">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>Love will tear us apart By Marilyn Manson</h1> <p>Marilyn Manson — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:20:20 -0400</p> Most of my posts are laced with sarcasm and dry detachment, but this morning I feel very vulnerable. I’m writing perhaps for the first time with complete earnestness. I’m a very lonely man. My public persona concerning my love life is a complicated dichotomy between overt cockiness, and a more subversive darker side. I strut around town with beautiful women, subscribing, ironically, to the same masculine paradigm I critique. The truth is—and I know my PR manager is going to have a fit—I’ve been monogamous for the past decade with a fragmented ‘person’ I call Thora, who is comprised entirely of prosthetic parts. Last night, Thora and I got into one of our usual arguments. It all started when, as a joke, I said, “I want some putang tonigh... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/marilyn-manson/2008/04/21/love-will-tear-us-apart">Read more</a> </article> <article> <h1>Halfway in the Blue Man Group By Marilyn Manson</h1> <p>Marilyn Manson — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:58:40 -0400</p> Blue Man Group’s satirical take on the entertainment and music industry is almost as deft as what my band does, so I figure I’d honor them by being their fourth member. Unfortunately, I ran out of blue halfway.My agent contacted them, proposing that either they rename themselves ‘Blue Man (and a half-blue Man) Group’, or just hold off until I can find more makeup. You know, I really don’t know how Bjork does it with all that intricate make up. But then again, she’s merely propagating the institutionalized idea(l) that women are incomplete without their makeup on—whereas I’m transgressing cultural premises of gender and aesthetics (at least 50%).Okay, off to Walgreens to reload on my blue cosmetics. I’m only half the blue man I want to b... <a href="http://www.newsgroper.com/marilyn-manson/2008/04/18/halfway-blue-man-group">Read more</a> </article> </main></body></html>